7 ways to mak3 a good impr3ssion

Impressions are important: They leave an initial taste in people's mouths that can remain prevalent for the entire relationship. If you are paranoid about what kind of impression you make, run through these seven list items and see if you are consistent with them; if you are, then you will probably expose the best of yourself. If not, then work to meet these standards.

1. Dress:
The absolute first impression you will make on someone will be through your clothing, because that is what is seen from a distance, and cannot change throughout your meeting. Make sure to dress according to the situation-don't over or under dress-and maintain within the limits of good taste. If you aren't sure if what you're wearing looks good, ask people for an honest opinion. One last thought: always, and I mean always, pull up your pants

2. Hygiene:
Take a shower! Shave! Brush your teeth! You must be fully bathed and groomed before you meet with someone for the first time, because scruffy looking people generally don't seem as neat and mature. Pay attention to the little elements like breath: keep a pack of mint gum with you wherever you go, and periodically check to make sure you aren't killing bugs every time you breathe out. If you sweat heavily, keep a small stick of deodorant/anti-perspirant close, and if you notice you're stinking you can freshen up. People notice the minutiae!

3. Manners:

At the table and with other people be civilized, polite and respectful: keep your elbows off of the table, open doors for people and address everyone-initially, at least-by their formal title. This will make an especially good impression on senior citizens, because you will prove that you aren't one of those "new fangled punks."

4. Speech:

Have clean, clear diction and speak sans "like" or "you know." It is important to be articulate because that inspires a feeling of intelligence and education in the person you are meeting with. Always leave out profanity, and whatever you do, make sure to speak loud enough for all to hear, because conversationalists are easily agitated if you force them say "excuse me?" more than a few times.

5. Discretion:
Choose what to share about yourself: forget to tell everyone about that time you went camping and ruptured your appendix, then fell face first into a pile of bug infested leaves-it is rude and will alienate you from the group. Try to withhold from conversations on personal subjects like religion or more disgusting topics like personal medical care. Before you speak, think about the possible impact of what you might say, then imagine its implications in the long run.

6. Humor:

Humor can be your most powerful tool or your doom, because everyone has a slightly different sense of humor. What might be hilarious to you might seem disgusting to another, or vice versa. Try to withhold from any jokes that aren't family or dinner table friendly; you can tell those later.

7. Start and End with a Bang:
Whoever you are meeting with will remember how you greet them, and then in what manner you left them. If you feel you have trouble with this, practice a few different phrases in the mirror, and introduce elements like: "pleased to meet you," or "honored to make your acquaintance." Ignore the antiquity of these phrases; it often makes them more memorable.

Making a good impression will set any relationship off on a good foot. If you are in a situation where you need to be judged at face value-such as a job interview or date-then make sure to go through this list and make sure you are within bounds of reason and good taste on all of your decisions.

Happiness

Abraham Lincoln:
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.-




Albert Camus:
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.




Albert Camus:
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?




Albert Camus:
All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.




Albert Schweitzer:
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

What are Negative Thoughtz

What are Negative Thoughtz .................................. 

 

 

 

People who are depressed typically think in a biased, negative way. They have negative views of theselves (e.g. `I'm no good'), the world (e.g. `Life has no meaning') and the future (e.g. `I will always feel this way')

Negative thoughts like these have several characteristics. They are:

automatic :- they just pop into your head without any effort on your part;

distorted :- they do not fit all of the facts;

unhelpful :- they keep you depressed, make it difficult to change, and stop you from getting what you want out of life;

plausible :- you accept them as facts, and it does not occur to you to question them;

involuntary :- you do not choose to have them, and they can be very difficult to switch off.

Thoughts like these can trap you in a vicious circle. The more depressed you become, the more negative thoughts you have, and the more you believe them. The more negative thoughts you have, and the more you believe them, the more depressed you become. The main goal of cognitive therapy is to help you to break out of this vicious circle.

Overcoming the problem

You have probably already discussed examples of your own negative thoughts with your therapist, and looked at the effect they have on how you feel and what you do. The time has now come to make negative thinking your main focus. This is the heart of cognitive therapy: learning to recognize when you are thinking negatively, to look for more positive and realistic ways of viewing your experiences, and to test these out in action.

At first, you may not find it easy to catch and answer your thoughts. Answering negative thoughts is like any other skill - it takes time and regular practice to be able to do it with ease. So do not feel discouraged if you have difficulties to start with. In sessions, you and your therapist will work together on identifying and answering thoughts, and your homework assignments will give you plenty of opportunity to practice on your own. The more you practice, the sooner answering thoughts will come naturally to you. The steps involved are described in turn below.

Step I: Becoming aware of negative thoughts

The first step in overcoming negative thinking is to become aware of your thoughts, and of their effects on you.

Negative thoughts make you feel bad - anxious, sad, depressed, hopeless, guilty, angry. Instead of being overwhelmed by these feelings, you can learn to use them as a cue for action. Notice when your mood changes for the worse, and look back at what was running through your mind at that moment. Over the course of a few days, you will become more sensitive to changes in your feelings, and to the thoughts that spark them off. You may well find that the same thoughts occur again and again.

How to do it

The best way to become aware of negative thoughts is to write them down as soon as they occur. You can to this on a Dysfunctional Thoughts Record (you will find an example of a completed record below). Write down:

1. The date

2. The emotion(s) you felt. Give each one a rating out of 100 for how bad it was. Zero, for example, would mean no emotion, 50 a moderate degree of motion, and 100 an emotion as strong as it could be. You could score anywhere between 0 and 100.

3. The situation. What were you doing when you started to feel bad? This includes, in general terms, what you were thinking about at the time. only put down the geneal topic here (e.g. `Thinking about how difficult life is'). What precisely was going through your mind should go in the next column.

4. The automatic thought(s). What thoughts were running through your mind at the time you started to feel bad? Try to record them as accurately as possible, word for word. Some of your thoughts may take the form of images in your mind's eye, rather than words. You might for example imagine yourself being unable to cope with a situation in the future. Write down exactly what the image was, just as you saw it.

There may be times when you cannot identify any thoughts or images as such. If so ask yourself what the meaning of the situation is. What does it tell you about yourself, your situation, your future? This may give you a clue as to why the situation is so depressing, or what is making you so anxious, or angry, or whatever. An argument, for instance, might mean to you that a relationship is at an end, of even that you will never be able to have a proper relationship with anybody. Once you can identify the meaning, you will be able to challenge it just as you would be able to challenge any other thought. (Details on how to do this are in `Step II: Answering negative thoughts' below.)

When you have written down your negative thoughts, images or meanings, give each one a rating out of 100 according to how far you believe it. One hundred would mean you believed a thought completely, 0 that you did not believe it at all, 50 that you half believed it, and so on. You could score anywhere between 0 and 100.

Common problems in recording negative thoughts

Timing

Ideally, it is best to record your thoughts and feelings immediately they occur. But of course this is not always possible. It would look odd, for example, if you got your record sheets out in the middle of a party of meeting! In this case, make a mental note of what has distressed you, or jot down a reminder on any handy piece of paper. Then set aside time in the evening (say, 20 minutes) to make a proper written record. Run through an `action replay', trying to recall in as much detail as possible what happened, how you felt and what your thoughts were.

Avoiding writing down your negative thoughts

Beware of excuses that keep you from focussing on your thoughts and emotions. You may say to yourself, for instance, `I'll do it later', or `It would be better to forget all about it. You may find that you are very unwilling to look your thoughts in the face. Perhaps you are afraid that they will overwhelm you, or think that they are stupid. It is quite natural to want to avoid thinking through unpleasant experiences, but doing so is the best way to combat your depression. If you find yourself making excuses, this is probably because you have hit on something important, so make yourself write it down. You can then divert yourself by engaging in a distraction exercise if you want to. But ignoring the thoughts will not make them go away.

Have a Blessed Day:)
BY:
Ayesha

Thoughts for Life

Thoughts for Life

The greatest handicap: Fear
The best day: Today
The easiest thing to do: Find a fault
The most useless asset: Pride
The greatest mistake: Giving up

The biggest stumbling block: Egotism
The most disagreeable person: The complainer
The worst bankruptcy: Loss of enthusiasm
The greatest need: Common sense

The meanest feeling: Regret at another's success
The best gift: Forgiveness
The greatest moment: Death
The greatest knowledge: God
The greatest thing in the world: Love

Have a blessed Day:)
BY:
AYESHA