Pakistan Flood Victims Still Desperately Need Help

A boy hangs on to the front of a cargo truck while passing through a flooded road in Risalpur, located in Nowshera District in Pakistan's Northwest Frontier Province July 30, 2010.

Residents watch water pour through a street on the outskirts of Peshawar, Pakistan on July 28, 2010.

Pakistani villagers move to high ground escaping a flood-hit village near Nowshera, Pakistan on Thursday, July 29, 2010.

Pakistani city Mehmud Kot is submerged in floodwater near Multan, Pakistan on Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010

Nadia, who do not know her age, sits alongside siblings after they were rescued from rising floodwaters in Baseera, a village located in the Muzaffargarh district of Pakistan's Punjab province, August 10, 2010.

Pakistani villagers stand on the remains of a bridge washed away by heavy flooding in Bannu in northwest Pakistan on Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010

A girl floats her brother across flood waters whilst salvaging valuables from their flood ravaged home on August 7, 2010 in the village of Bux Seelro near to Sukkur, Pakistan.

Pakistani flood victim Mohammed Nawaz hangs onto a moving raft as he is rescued by the Pakistan Navy August 10, 2010 in Sukkur, Pakistan.

A young flood survivor cools herself with water at a makeshift camp in Nowshera, Pakistan on August 5, 2010

A boy waits for food handouts with other flood victims as they take refuge at a makeshift camp in Sukkur, in Pakistan's Sindh province August 8, 2010

A family portrait is seen, attached to a bookcase buried in mud on August 4, 2010 in Pabbi, Pakistan.

A man gathers up some of his belongings outside his flooded house in Nowshera, Pakistan on August 2, 2010.

Pakistani women pray at sunset by the Ravi river in Lahore on August 2, 2010.

A boy sits on a bed as his family members salvage belongings from their destroyed house in Pabbi, Pakistan on August 5, 2010.

Flood-affected people jostle for food relief in Nowshera in northwest Pakistan on Friday, Aug. 6, 2010.

A man wades through flood waters towards a naval boat while evacuating his children in Sukkur, located in Pakistan's Sindh province August 8, 2010

Newborn twin boys lay covered up in a blanket on the floor of a Pakistani Army helicopter, as mother Zada Perveen (unseen) rests after being rescued by Pakistan Army soldiers during air rescue operations on August 9, 2010 over the village of Sanawan in the Muzaffargarh district of Pakistan. Of the twin boys, un-named at the time, the first was born 15 minutes before mid day and the other twin was born as the Army rescue helicopter was circling above to find a safe landing position on a road surrounded by flood waters. The mother was then carried on a makeshift bed through chest deep flood waters to the awaiting Pakistan Army helicopter.

A Pakistani flood survivor who lost her home to heavy flooding, cries upon her arrival in Muzaffargarh, Pakistan, on Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2010

Youths affected by floods walk outside the ruins of their home which was washed away by heavy floods in Charsadda, northwest Pakistan, Monday, Aug. 9, 2010.

Goldbrown upon the sated flood
The rockvine clusters lift and sway;
Vast wings above the lambent waters brood
Of sullen day.

A waste of waters ruthlessly
Sways and uplifts its weedy mane
Where brooding day stares down upon the sea
In dull disdain.

Uplift and sway, O golden vine,
Your clustered fruits to love’s full flood,
Lambent and vast and ruthless as is thine
Incertitude!

 A MESSAGE

BY:AISHA CHAUDHARY

Honour Killings in Pakistan will it ever stop ?

According to Amnesty International, honour killings are the most widespread in Pakistan. A recent report by the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan (HRCP) states that 647 women were killed in the name of "honour" in 2009, an increase of 13% from 2008 when 574 such killings were reported. Honour killing is carried out for the flimsiest of reasons whereby the honour of men in the family is perceived to have been injured. Suspicion of marital infidelity, pre-marital sex, flirting, not following codes of conduct laid down by male members of the family or even failing to serve a meal on time that can be perceived as impugning the family honour. If a woman has been branded ‘kari’ (black woman) by a ' jirga' (tribal assembly), her husband is entitled to kill her and her alleged lover



Honor killing Defines
An honor killing is a murder, nearly exclusively of a woman, who has been perceived as having brought dishonor to her family. Such killings are typically perpetrated by the victim’s own relatives and/or community and unlike a crime of passion or rage-induced killing; it is usually planned in advance. Official data shows that about 6000 were killed; most of these belonged to Punjab, followed by, Sindh, NWFP and Baluchistan. Of the 2774 murdered women, 1578 were killed in Punjab, 751 in Sindh, 260 in NWFP and 185 in Baluchistan. Of the 1327 murdered men, 675 were killed in Punjab, 348 in Sindh, 188 in NWFP and 116 in Baluchistan.2 In Sindh, it was noticed that literacy had a strange association with such killings, which is evidenced by the fact that nine such murders were committed in Karachi with literacy rate of 65.26%; the lowest literacy rate is in Tharparker (18.32%) where no such murder was committed.3 Women in rural areas are constantly suppressed and this reality is further augmented by low literacy level, male dominance and hidden agendas. But what I think that honour killing is associated with the ego the men have, and due to his wild person inside and the so called dominant behaviour.
  defines “honor killings”
Honor crimes are acts of violence, usually murder, committed by male family members against female family members, who are held to have brought dishonor upon the family. A woman can be targeted by (individuals within) her family for a variety of reasons, including: refusing to enter into an arranged marriage, being the victim of a sexual assault, seeking a divorce — even from an abusive husband — or (allegedly) committing adultery. The mere perception that a woman has behaved in a way that “dishonors” her family is sufficient to trigger an attack on her life. In societies and cultures where they occur, such killings are often regarded as a “private matter” for the affected family alone, and courts rarely become involved or prosecute the perpetrators. The United Nations Population Fund estimates that the annual worldwide total of honor-killing victims may be as high as 5,000 women.
HONOR KILLING IN PAKISTAN


While women and girls die at the hands of their husbands, fathers and brothers in Pakistan, the authorities pay lip service to their obligations to protect them. The Pakistani authorities constantly ignore honour crimes at the expense of womens most fundamental human rights - the rights to life and freedom from torture and ill-treatment
 cases:

Zahida was left with a disfigured face after an attempted honour killing.

Burying alive is often resorted to in karo-kari related crimes.

A man, Munir, shot dead his mother, Haleema (40), for ‘Honour’ at Muhammadi Road in Shershah locality within the jurisdiction of Shershah Police Station. The jeering of the people living in the area making allegations about her character is supposed to have made him commit the crime. (Shershah, 14 July, 2010) 

• Even pregnant women are not exempt from honour killings. An eight-month pregnant woman, 26-year-old Fahima, was allegedly killed by her family in the name of honour. According to the victim’s husband Gul Zamin, the couple had got married against their families’ wishes and eloped from Swabi to Karachi, where they had been hiding for the last seven years in fear of their lives. (Karachi, 20 January, 2010)

An honour killing is not an uncommon occurrence in rural Sindh where murderers operate with impunity, often killing a woman to cover up another crime, safe in the knowledge that they will be treated with leniency if he is seen as guardian of the moral order. It doesn't help that the police are more interested in lining their pockets than enforcing the law. According to an NGO worker, "Most honour killings are never be reported because the police is so corrupt. The people would rather suffer than go to the police."
I will tell you,

we love our daughters, but if one of them dares to love, she must be killed, the custom (karo-kari ) works by putting fear in the girls, because if one girl gets away with falling in love, the others here might think its their right to reject their engagements and fall in love. Their fathers and brothers will be shamed and their fiances' families will not forgive them. The men cannot be seen as weak, they will avenge their honour and there will be many unnecessary deaths.

CONCLUSION:
There are so many things to write about honor killing but it is of no use because of the government attitude towards stopping this menace, and eradicating from the society. Why we can not eradicate this brutality from society? Why we can not stop violence? Why we can not give rights to women? Why. In my opinion this is all because of the weak law and order situation and no fear of being punished. When criminals are rulling the government in Pakistan and sitting in the parliaments than in this situation how we can expect any change in Pakistani society. The only hope is that men should personally realize the rights of women and start considering them as human and this change can only be possible if illiteracy rate can be controlled. NGOs and human activists should conduct seminars and awareness campaigns to aware the people about the consequences of honour killing and should force the government to take effective steps to eradicate the wadeera hold from interior part of Pakistan other wise this practice can not be controlled and it will keep on increasing and make its hold more stronger.

 Must Watch

http://youtu.be/INK-7niQNiU

informattion taken from different webs 

By: Aisha

'Is there a need to get girls educated?'

"Is there a need to get our girls educated? Whats the use?". These are questions frequently asked by the educationists who go to rural areas to spread awareness about the importance of getting the females educated.



Girls in rural areas have to face many cultural and social problems.One of the most deplorable aspects is that in some places, particularly northern tribal areas, the education of girls is strictly prohibited on religious grounds.This is a gross misinterpretation of Islam,which like other religions urges men and women both to seek knowledge.

Though the need has been felt by some rural parts of Pakistan still alot of girls are not able to acquire education beyound secondary level simply because one does not exist for girls. Though there are a few privately-run middle schools but the fees for such school is so high that the poor families of the village can not afford them.

While the U. N. recommends that developing countries set aside four percent of gross national product (GNP) for education, State Bank of Pakistan (SBP) annual report for 2004 shows that spending is still only 1.8 percent of GNP. Thus the annual spending needs to be increased and specially for girls who receive only a small weightage.

There are vast gender and regional disparities between the provinces. While the overall literacy rate in Sindh is 56 percent, it is only 36 percent in Balochistan and substantial disparities also exist at the district level within provinces.

Pakistan's overall literacy rate of 54 percent in 2004 was achieved largely due to an increased emphasis on basic education in the country to achieve the U.N. millennium development goals (MDGs) of universal primary education, according to the SBP report.

But the need for higher education needs to be felt now and secondary schooling should be easily available to those who can build a brighter future for Pakistan.

Ways to improve education in Pakistan

Education in Pakistan is effected by several factors such as the existence of cost effective schools, better curricula and an awareness amongst parents about the importance of education specially in rural areas. But above all the single most important factor is to make sure that the children complete their basic primary education.

However there are institutional reforms that can help improve Pakistans educational sysytem so that it can achieve its goal of completeion of primary education nationwide.

The first reform will be to create decentralisaion that is better education should be provided at village and district level and not only at the bigger cities of the state. The bureaucracy shoul not be allowed to interfer with the needs and requirements of schools at lower levels but should delegate responsilbility to local authorities.

Another step that can be taken to improve the educational system is by providing better support and coordination at district and provincial levels. The most important element of any school is good faculty and the central education body should make sure that the students at the lower levels have this facility.

Finally the last but the most important factor in improving education in Pakistan is to spread awareness amongst the rural population about the necessity of education for both girls and boys. Then annual research should be conducted to compare figures and to learning achievement across schools, districts and regions over time.

My world of perception: Imagine a world without Autism... race 'ya for it!...

My world of perception: Imagine a world without Autism... race 'ya for it!...: "Autismis a brain disorder that often makes it hard to communicate with and relate to others. With , the different areas of the brain fail to..."

I don’t want to feel miserable, but I am.

 

 

Questioning Life & My Options

i've come to a point in my life where I find myself at a crossroad. I’ve been struggling the last 3YEAR and a 5months living with paralysis. It’s impossible to truly express the emotional rollercoaster ride that I’ve been on, since June 2008. I’ve tried my best to be open, about my thoughts and feelings. I’ve tried very hard to convey the magnitude of loss that I sustained, due to my injury, as well as the hardships of living with paralysis on a daily basis. Despite my best efforts, I feel like the average person can never understand how much I’ve suffered and continue to suffer. Words alone, aren’t enough to garnish empathy; sympathy perhaps. Even the people closest to me, that witness all that I have to endure, can never know what it’s like to live in my shoes. Although I often seek advice from other people living with paralysis, the pool of people that have/are lived/living through what I have/am, is very small. .

Paralysis is so unique a state of being, that many times the things I experience (sensations, or lack thereof) have no comparison to when I was working properly . Unless you’ve lived through it, you have no idea what it’s like. Anything you imagine is pale in comparison to what it’s like to live with it. .  . Unfortunately, I do feel phantom pains, pressure and discomfort, that has no real rhyme or reason, and usually has no medical diagnosis, or solution. There is no way to fully grasp how it feels to lose all sense of independence and dignity overnight. My spinal cord injury stole my ability to be self sufficient in a matter of seconds, and I’ve been wrestling with how to cope with the void left behind,  My injury has left me feeling constantly vulnerable, anxious, depressed, full of regret, lost, deprived and scared. While I’ve tried my best to remain positive, despite the bleak reality that a cure is most likely never going to be a reality for me, I feel justified in feeling the way that I do. I’ve made proactive steps ever since day one, to stay as positive and as mentally strong as possible, so that I could somehow keep moving forward, against my inner dissatisfaction of my life and the compromises I’m forced into making every day. I’ve sought counseling, gone to therapy, take an ever growing number of pills (anti-depressants, sleep aides and anti-anxiety meds), share with my peers, write, paint, pray meditate, distraction, etc. and feel like I’m running on vapors and running out of options. I’ve been pushing forward more so for my loved ones, than for myself, and find it increasingly harder to find reason, and/or motivation to essentially keep torturing myself.

I feel as though I’m battling myself, in finding reasons to keep moving forward. In the late hours of the night, I think about my life and the choices I’ve made. I beat myself up over regrets and find myself pleading and begging God to be merciful. Every night, for a long while, I’ve asked God  cure me, or take me. Obviously, I’ve yet to get a response. I can’t help but wrestle with myself over morals and ethics. I wonder if giving up on relying on others is the same as taking my own lifeI’m left wondering if I can find the answers, and if so where? Although part of me feels like a failure, or weak for considering death, I feel like I have the right to know the answers to these questions.
I’m just looking for answers. I don’t expect anyone to advocate the thought of giving up on life. I understand that there are many people that are fine with their lives, and living with paralysis. I also expect that most anyone who reads this will probably try and dissuade me from taking drastic measures and offer me I pep talk. I’m not even saying that I am giving up. I just want to know what my options are, at this point in my life. I realize that I’m at a very low point; that’s precisely why I’m seeking help. I don’t want to feel miserable, but I am.

 

Master The Art Of Being Rejected

How good are you at being rejected? The ability to handle
rejection is one of the most important skills we can master in
life. As you pursue your dreams, there will always be those who
will tell you that you just aren't good enough. The road to the
attainment of our goals is rarely rejection-free. Yet, when doors
are slammed in our faces, many of us conclude we must be on the
wrong track. It is amazing how willing we are to abandon our
heartfelt dreams because someone else doesn't believe in us.

REJECTION AND YOU

It’s hard to be rejected when it’s your art being rejected. It does not come close to the same feeling as not being selected for a team, or a job. It hits a much harder and closer to home plate. The feeling is more closely related to that of being dumped by someone you love, and having all your personal belonging thrown on the lawn when you’re:

A. Not used to being rejected or

B. Look at rejection negatively and lack coping skills on that department

Rejection is never what we want to get into our email, our mailbox or hear in person or on the telephone (including texting). Most of the time when rejection comes we had been waiting for a period of time, holding onto hope, which makes the rejection ever harder to take. We can look at it as a slap in the face or we can change the way we view the rejection, and gain wisdom and move forward and grow.

OPTIMISM
There is no reason for not being optimistic about opportunities you try for because if you always think you will be rejected in fear of losing that high feeling of possibility, you losing the point, and you will be rejected more often with a poor attitude. Always be optimistic but don’t let your world crumble when you don’t get what you want. Having a temper tantrum is a slight turn off, try to avoid that.

CURATORS/EDITORS AND THE OPINIONATED (added via suggestion)
Many times when submitting to something you have the opinion of just a couple people, and sometimes just one person. Note that the person who is looking at the work might be looking for something specific or might have a specific taste, which directly means that it might not be about the quality and how great technically you pull off your craft, but more about the needs of the project.

REJECTION. WHY IS IT GOOD??

1) This means there is room for improvement. It could mean with your art, the way you wrote a submissions, or your attitude. No matter what and who you are, there is always room to improve, and use that rejection as a catapult to get on doing that! Show those people that did not take you on that you are high class, respectable and took what they said with grace, and that you are working to do better and better. This makes them look at you, and keep you in mind for future projects.

2) Rejection makes you humble. It makes you understand that you don’t get everything you want. Who does?

3) Rejection might be keeping you from making a mistake. Maybe the universe is watching out for you making sure your plate is not too full so you don’t overload and fail, and put too much pressure on yourself.

4) Rejection can be informative, motivating and encouraging.

5) Look at it this way: You got rejected, you did not get ignored - which I feel is much worse.

SIX STEPS TO MASTERING THE ART OF REJECTION

In spite of the rejection they encountered, these individuals
persevered. Each was challenged to believe in himself or herself
when others didn't. Each refused to allow someone else's negative
opinion to become a roadblock in the pursuit of lifelong dreams.

You, too, can use the inevitable rejection that comes your way to
fortify your belief in yourself and fuel your progress. Here are
six steps you can take to master the art of being rejected:

1. Let rejection be a signal to go inward, and do some soul- searching. Ask yourself: What do I really desire to create in my
life? Am I pursuing this path because it is truly what I want, or
is it what someone else wants for me? Then write down your goals.

2. Use rejection as an opportunity to better yourself. Ask for
constructive criticism. Take note of any ways you can perform
better next time. Would it help to take a class or read a book on
the subject? Then do it.

3. Reconnect with your inner guidance. Close your eyes and ask
yourself what the next step is for you. Be still and the answer
will come--either right away, or in the next few weeks. Your
inner guidance is always moving you towards something, rather
than away from something. It gently nudges you to take those
actions which will enable the fulfillment of your desires.

4. Remember to lighten up and have fun along the way. When you
are following your bliss, you are in alignment with your higher
purpose. Let your life be a joyful adventure, in which the
journey is as important as the destination. Try not to take
yourself so seriously.

5. Remind yourself that encounters with those who do not believe
in you are an opportunity to strengthen your belief in yourself,
and your commitment to following your inner guidance. Only you
hold the map of your life territory within you. Others cannot
possibly know what is right for you, or what you are capable of
doing, being, or having.

6. Visualize the attainment of your dreams. Put your body in a
comfortable position, either seated or lying down. Close your
eyes, and take some deep breaths. Imagine that it is a year from
now, and that all of your dreams have become a reality. Create a
movie in your mind, in which you live those dreams. Make it as
real as you can. Be lighthearted and playful with your
imagination. Get excited about it. Use all of your senses. Don't
worry if you can't see things clearly--its okay if you just sense
what it feels like to have attained your goals.

7. Celebrate your rejections, for they are a sure sign that you
are stepping out of your comfort zone and living your life to the
fullest!

And finally rejection is not failure. 

*Aisha chaudhary*

Read more at http://www.articlealley.com/article_7080_24.html?ktrack=kcplink

Don,t Hit Me Teacher!

 

 

 

It is not possible that you grew up without getting spanked or punished ever in your childhood. But in those days, we had ways to laugh it off and may be sometimes we thought we deserved it somehow, so took it lightly.

But now, with the innocence of children getting lost so early in their lives, with exposure of media, the social network bullying, with excessive stress of studies, games, extra activities, and mounting parental expectation, a child is no more the same free spirit. He not just carries the burden of his heavy bag; he also bears on his shoulders the responsibility to be a good student, a good sportsperson, a guitarist, a skating or chess enthusiast. He not just deals with (and some times succumb to the peer pressure), he also bears the brunt of a hassled, irritated and stress laden teacher.

 

 

 

 

Physical punishment such as hitting with a scale on the palms, or with a pencil stuck between fingers and a scale hit over the hand, or caning or twisting ears or slapping or standing with hands up or a chair position or even worse the arms crossed through legs holding ears, making a child stand in the sun for hours etc.

Mental punishment like getting slapped by the opposite sex, scolding abusing and humiliating, labeling a child for misbehaviour and parading him around the school or making a child stand at the back of the class, or sit on the floor of the class are very severe but still exist. If you went to a public school or your child studies in a public school, then you might think its done in Govt schools. Partly, yes, socioeconomic status determines a lot in this.

Every other day, the newspapers are full of incidents where a child got fractured by teacher’s beatings, or committed suicide either due to insult and embarrassment meted out to him in school. . It is unfortunate. Being a teacher , it breaks my heart each time I read a news like that. It scares me.




      A 6 year old girl was talking in the class. And the next moment, a lungi clad male teacher barges in the class, picks up the girl, takes her to science lab and sexually assaults her, in the presence of a lady teacher, for being indisciplined in the class. Moreover, when she cries out in pain, cloth is stuffed in her mouth and she is threatened not to tell anyone.

     A 16 year old boy commits suicide after he is thrashed in the class by his teacher for missing his school on his birthday.

Now, the question is what do we do as parents? Yes, true, we all are educated, we can fight for our children. But what if, your child gets too scared to talk? Its really important to keep the communication channel open with our kids, always. Also, if the child is scared or nervous about going to school, his fears should not be laughed away.

In fact what I feel is that when we can hit back in self defense as a grown up, why can’t a child hit back, if he feels enough is enough. As it is no body, not even one’s parents have any right to hit a child, then why a teacher? (By the way, draft Prevention of Offences Against Child Bill, if passed, will ban domestic corporal punishment to a child also. I so very welcome this move!)

Who is a teacher or a principal of a staff member to take away a child’s dignity? If a teacher hits a child and thereby violating the child’s Right to Life, then a child also has the right to hit back to save himself for any further harm, and then no disciplinary action should be there against him. Because, it’s the teacher who started it all. Why do we have to believe “jo bade karte hain, woh hamare bhale ke liye hota hai” (whatever elders do is for our betterment). Its much better than another child dying first mentally, emotionally and then physically that he learns to give back to such demonish, cruel and heartless teachers.

Dear reader, what is your say about it? To some, it would be revolting, hitting one’s teacher….. whatever you think, please let me know….

 

7 ways to mak3 a good impr3ssion

Impressions are important: They leave an initial taste in people's mouths that can remain prevalent for the entire relationship. If you are paranoid about what kind of impression you make, run through these seven list items and see if you are consistent with them; if you are, then you will probably expose the best of yourself. If not, then work to meet these standards.

1. Dress:
The absolute first impression you will make on someone will be through your clothing, because that is what is seen from a distance, and cannot change throughout your meeting. Make sure to dress according to the situation-don't over or under dress-and maintain within the limits of good taste. If you aren't sure if what you're wearing looks good, ask people for an honest opinion. One last thought: always, and I mean always, pull up your pants

2. Hygiene:
Take a shower! Shave! Brush your teeth! You must be fully bathed and groomed before you meet with someone for the first time, because scruffy looking people generally don't seem as neat and mature. Pay attention to the little elements like breath: keep a pack of mint gum with you wherever you go, and periodically check to make sure you aren't killing bugs every time you breathe out. If you sweat heavily, keep a small stick of deodorant/anti-perspirant close, and if you notice you're stinking you can freshen up. People notice the minutiae!

3. Manners:

At the table and with other people be civilized, polite and respectful: keep your elbows off of the table, open doors for people and address everyone-initially, at least-by their formal title. This will make an especially good impression on senior citizens, because you will prove that you aren't one of those "new fangled punks."

4. Speech:

Have clean, clear diction and speak sans "like" or "you know." It is important to be articulate because that inspires a feeling of intelligence and education in the person you are meeting with. Always leave out profanity, and whatever you do, make sure to speak loud enough for all to hear, because conversationalists are easily agitated if you force them say "excuse me?" more than a few times.

5. Discretion:
Choose what to share about yourself: forget to tell everyone about that time you went camping and ruptured your appendix, then fell face first into a pile of bug infested leaves-it is rude and will alienate you from the group. Try to withhold from conversations on personal subjects like religion or more disgusting topics like personal medical care. Before you speak, think about the possible impact of what you might say, then imagine its implications in the long run.

6. Humor:

Humor can be your most powerful tool or your doom, because everyone has a slightly different sense of humor. What might be hilarious to you might seem disgusting to another, or vice versa. Try to withhold from any jokes that aren't family or dinner table friendly; you can tell those later.

7. Start and End with a Bang:
Whoever you are meeting with will remember how you greet them, and then in what manner you left them. If you feel you have trouble with this, practice a few different phrases in the mirror, and introduce elements like: "pleased to meet you," or "honored to make your acquaintance." Ignore the antiquity of these phrases; it often makes them more memorable.

Making a good impression will set any relationship off on a good foot. If you are in a situation where you need to be judged at face value-such as a job interview or date-then make sure to go through this list and make sure you are within bounds of reason and good taste on all of your decisions.

Happiness

Abraham Lincoln:
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.-




Albert Camus:
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.




Albert Camus:
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?




Albert Camus:
All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.




Albert Schweitzer:
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

What are Negative Thoughtz

What are Negative Thoughtz .................................. 

 

 

 

People who are depressed typically think in a biased, negative way. They have negative views of theselves (e.g. `I'm no good'), the world (e.g. `Life has no meaning') and the future (e.g. `I will always feel this way')

Negative thoughts like these have several characteristics. They are:

automatic :- they just pop into your head without any effort on your part;

distorted :- they do not fit all of the facts;

unhelpful :- they keep you depressed, make it difficult to change, and stop you from getting what you want out of life;

plausible :- you accept them as facts, and it does not occur to you to question them;

involuntary :- you do not choose to have them, and they can be very difficult to switch off.

Thoughts like these can trap you in a vicious circle. The more depressed you become, the more negative thoughts you have, and the more you believe them. The more negative thoughts you have, and the more you believe them, the more depressed you become. The main goal of cognitive therapy is to help you to break out of this vicious circle.

Overcoming the problem

You have probably already discussed examples of your own negative thoughts with your therapist, and looked at the effect they have on how you feel and what you do. The time has now come to make negative thinking your main focus. This is the heart of cognitive therapy: learning to recognize when you are thinking negatively, to look for more positive and realistic ways of viewing your experiences, and to test these out in action.

At first, you may not find it easy to catch and answer your thoughts. Answering negative thoughts is like any other skill - it takes time and regular practice to be able to do it with ease. So do not feel discouraged if you have difficulties to start with. In sessions, you and your therapist will work together on identifying and answering thoughts, and your homework assignments will give you plenty of opportunity to practice on your own. The more you practice, the sooner answering thoughts will come naturally to you. The steps involved are described in turn below.

Step I: Becoming aware of negative thoughts

The first step in overcoming negative thinking is to become aware of your thoughts, and of their effects on you.

Negative thoughts make you feel bad - anxious, sad, depressed, hopeless, guilty, angry. Instead of being overwhelmed by these feelings, you can learn to use them as a cue for action. Notice when your mood changes for the worse, and look back at what was running through your mind at that moment. Over the course of a few days, you will become more sensitive to changes in your feelings, and to the thoughts that spark them off. You may well find that the same thoughts occur again and again.

How to do it

The best way to become aware of negative thoughts is to write them down as soon as they occur. You can to this on a Dysfunctional Thoughts Record (you will find an example of a completed record below). Write down:

1. The date

2. The emotion(s) you felt. Give each one a rating out of 100 for how bad it was. Zero, for example, would mean no emotion, 50 a moderate degree of motion, and 100 an emotion as strong as it could be. You could score anywhere between 0 and 100.

3. The situation. What were you doing when you started to feel bad? This includes, in general terms, what you were thinking about at the time. only put down the geneal topic here (e.g. `Thinking about how difficult life is'). What precisely was going through your mind should go in the next column.

4. The automatic thought(s). What thoughts were running through your mind at the time you started to feel bad? Try to record them as accurately as possible, word for word. Some of your thoughts may take the form of images in your mind's eye, rather than words. You might for example imagine yourself being unable to cope with a situation in the future. Write down exactly what the image was, just as you saw it.

There may be times when you cannot identify any thoughts or images as such. If so ask yourself what the meaning of the situation is. What does it tell you about yourself, your situation, your future? This may give you a clue as to why the situation is so depressing, or what is making you so anxious, or angry, or whatever. An argument, for instance, might mean to you that a relationship is at an end, of even that you will never be able to have a proper relationship with anybody. Once you can identify the meaning, you will be able to challenge it just as you would be able to challenge any other thought. (Details on how to do this are in `Step II: Answering negative thoughts' below.)

When you have written down your negative thoughts, images or meanings, give each one a rating out of 100 according to how far you believe it. One hundred would mean you believed a thought completely, 0 that you did not believe it at all, 50 that you half believed it, and so on. You could score anywhere between 0 and 100.

Common problems in recording negative thoughts

Timing

Ideally, it is best to record your thoughts and feelings immediately they occur. But of course this is not always possible. It would look odd, for example, if you got your record sheets out in the middle of a party of meeting! In this case, make a mental note of what has distressed you, or jot down a reminder on any handy piece of paper. Then set aside time in the evening (say, 20 minutes) to make a proper written record. Run through an `action replay', trying to recall in as much detail as possible what happened, how you felt and what your thoughts were.

Avoiding writing down your negative thoughts

Beware of excuses that keep you from focussing on your thoughts and emotions. You may say to yourself, for instance, `I'll do it later', or `It would be better to forget all about it. You may find that you are very unwilling to look your thoughts in the face. Perhaps you are afraid that they will overwhelm you, or think that they are stupid. It is quite natural to want to avoid thinking through unpleasant experiences, but doing so is the best way to combat your depression. If you find yourself making excuses, this is probably because you have hit on something important, so make yourself write it down. You can then divert yourself by engaging in a distraction exercise if you want to. But ignoring the thoughts will not make them go away.

Have a Blessed Day:)
BY:
Ayesha

Thoughts for Life

Thoughts for Life

The greatest handicap: Fear
The best day: Today
The easiest thing to do: Find a fault
The most useless asset: Pride
The greatest mistake: Giving up

The biggest stumbling block: Egotism
The most disagreeable person: The complainer
The worst bankruptcy: Loss of enthusiasm
The greatest need: Common sense

The meanest feeling: Regret at another's success
The best gift: Forgiveness
The greatest moment: Death
The greatest knowledge: God
The greatest thing in the world: Love

Have a blessed Day:)
BY:
AYESHA